Such a FAT week so i haven't blogged properly because whenever I've began writing a post I'm interrupted by my stomach which wants more cheesecake or haggis or something else ridiculously calorific and tragic (thus ill edit those saved posts and put them up soonish)
So, I've decided i should live off ribena and these calorie challenged vanilla protein shakes which they make down my road. (calories burnt whilst walking to and from shop=probably like 75 YES! thin thin thin) i however majorly failed when i DEVOURED and INDULGED evilly in 10 chicken dippers-TEN!!
food is evil and eating is cheating....
this has all been brought on by beautiful 25 inch waist model best friend, THE WAIF who said she looked chubby in a picture ....ooh its not fair so now i wont be content until i am an 8-10 because its my chanel/gucci/louis-toting mate's bday on Oct 3 and I've narrowed my dress choices to these two
the long length one is Carlos miele and the short one is Antonio berradi and I'm sure they don't stock size MORBIDLY OBESE!
the Carlos one is to die for and is all wishy washy which isn't me at all I'm all studs and spikes and shredding that's why the berradi number comes in and also because if the party is a cocktail dress theme rather than a evening ill have that to wear in a size splendid and skinny of course.
theres nothing wrong with being a size 12 except that i have a huge ghetto bootay and mountain breasts thus can never 'slip' into things like my waif like bestie...
plus all the money i save on food can be used to buy new shoes like some yummy louboutins!
DISCLAIMER: i am in the full knowledge that my butt will still look huge and my breasts will still look ungraceFULL in a shift dress when i finally achieve my coveted skinniness but at least then i could consider them ASSets rather than god damned things that are trying to put me into a size 14 skinny jean!
God do i want a Maryland cookie...