Musings of a Mentalist

tfs

Beautiful. Isn't she just so?

Eugh i don't know what it is about this past week that's made everything shitty but i would really enjoy for it to return to normal. Firstly, i haven't had a cigarette since Thursday morning which is depressing enough without considering its been 4 days since. AND on top of that because of lack of fags, I've been eating like a fatty...bacon rolls and almond croissants...what?!?!? i hate them for tasting so good!!!

Secondly, MEN.

I don't like them. this week I've had a dodgy Italian fellow and an overwhelming good looking (like 'phwoar' good looking) man rub me up the wrong way, thankfully no literal rubbing has occurred.

The Italian. beautiful, suave, intelligent and smouldering and then he became aware of his effect on me and tried to play up to it and it all became rather icky and a little too Italian and smoooooth for a British girl who usually likes things quite quintessentially English and edgy. when The Italian realised i was quickly rejecting his advances he became scary... like Halloween scary. for instance he waited outside my flat in the pouring rain for 2 hours because i didn't text him back that morning,he thought he was being romantic, little does he know id rather chew off my own leg and beat myself with it than be 'romanced'...i refused to let him in when i arrived whilst also trying to spare his feelings (he was clearly without his full senses) and he didn't get the message, wedging his foot in the door and telling me how much he wanted to whisk me away to some place 'cut off' from everyone else-i quickly imagined him dismembering my body and from this point have stayed clear. think black trench coat and black trilby- v.chicognito

Ridiculously good looking man is exactly that,ridiculosly good looking. he has a body sculpted by angels and a face blessed by God. and one afternoon over an impromptu lunch date he told me that I was the beautiful one...and was sanely obsessed with me (not like the Italian :/ ) so a few months pass and we had a couple of drunken-and sober-fumblings, on one such a occasion he bit me, i wont go into that but i didn't like it, and hes become a little...too much for me. incessant texting, facebooking, voice mails...and the run ins are the worst.

'how have you been? I've been texting you and calling i was worried'

' well i doing the same as i was last night *nervous laughter, looks around for any sort of get away*

'so i was thinking maybe we could-'

*interrupts* 'oh I'm sorry I've got to go....my erm...ah. MY WATERS JUST BROKE*

'but you're not pregnant'

'no I'm not...my mother is...shes giving birth to me...so i guess i better go get born ha ha' *runs away*

. And hes still called me all this weekend. He thinks I'm 'funny' and i fear that my odd display of behaviour has made him like me more..its a shame really if he wasn't so persistent (and if he hadn't bitten me) i would so be all over him.

I'm gna go pour myself some peach absolut and raise a glass to all the crazy men in the world.

to persistent scariness, the single adult male.