I'm pretty sure everyone has that friend, the friend that truly believes you are closer than you actually are. I currently have one of those friends, she means well but when you're a person like me, you need space.
And space is a concept she cant necessarily grasp.
so Monday night...i receive a call.
'are you going to ______'s tonight?'
'yes i am'
'would you mind if i go with you? its just i don't have anyone to go with...'
i can't exactly say no it's like an hour till I'm supposed to arrive at the party and shes ready and I'll just feel mean so i invite her along to the pre-party even though I'm sure she wasn't invited but oh well she's saying she is SO....she comes along.
At the party...
i hear her telling people of all the fun we have together, all the lunches and dinners we have had, the boys we've ensnared together and all the hilarities we've shared whilst 'vegging out'. i even heard her accept an invite on my behalf with 'WE will definitely be there'
i was mildly confuzzled. i met her about a year ago and was formally introduced to her about 6 months ago through a friend and we catch up and see each other around, she got really drunk at 2 of my house parties so i let her stay over because i couldn't really shove her in a cab (she's not exactly incredibly small). but OK...I'll let this slide i thought.
'she's my best friend in the whole world I'll do anything for her'
OK wow. erm OK....it was at this point i decided that i was going to avoid her for the rest of the night and focus my attentions on the tall drink of water in the Valentino suit. halfway through my fabulous conversation with incredibly sexy Valentino man she bounds over full of southern hospitality and declaring what good friends we are. she actually stroked him about 16 times in the 2 minutes before he decided i wasn't worth the trouble of enduring the stumpy loud midget friend and made his excuses.
it was at this point i was feeling less polite-when it comes to attractive, decent, well dressed men i turn into the power bitch. its ridiculous to 'salt one's game' in the day and age where everyman thinks he's Hugh Hefner and every woman is a Bridget Jones-sad, lonely and waiting.
so i stomped off and ignored her for the rest of the evening, however she didnt get the message as when it was late and i was very much ready to go home she appeared again.
Again i felt it would be cruel if i said no.
so we arrived in front of my flat and i paid half the fare and shut the cab door behind me and trotted up the stairs only to realise she was behind me....
'errrm are you OK?'
'what are you doing?'
'I'm staying at yours tonight'
'yeah i left my overnight bag here before we left'
again i felt to mean to be like 'get the fuck out of here crazy' so she stayed and chilled in my flat. i was more than a little uncomfortable. the next day she took my Chanel 2.55, my converses, my shell drop necklace, the bangles my grandmother gave me, my Chanel perfume and my ELLE, made 3 calls from my sidekick and broke my samsung(hence the picture) and waltzed out my flat.
i was left fuming, fine about all the other stuff but don't start prancing around with someone else's Chanel bag.
oh and I've just discovered an extra toothbrush in my bathroom, apparently its hers
'just for the next time i stay over impromptu...'
trust me, bitch there won't be a next time.